What should I do?
by IAMSPAIN
Summary: When China dies in war, Japan is having a very hard time to move on. After the funeral, America sees him and decides to have him stay the night at his place. Later, he gets upset and fights with America, wanting to be left alone. In the middle of the night, he begins to get a weird feeling...What might that feeling be? AmePan, T for attempted suicide
1. A start and a finish

Hello again! This is my second fanfic and this time, it's a little bit different. This is not my favorite paring but I thought I could throw in a little Romance and friendship with this. And let me tell you this now…The stories I write are not really happy ones. I'm not that kind of person. Plus, this story sucks so…

**Summary**: **After China dies in war, Japan is having a very hard time trying to move on from the man who raised him ever since he was just a small country. After the funeral, America invites him to his house over night to try to get his mind off of it. In the middle of the night, Japan thinks things over with China and gets a weird feeling inside. A feeling that leads to the cutting of his own flesh. **

**Note: rated T for cutting/attempted suicide…no official history…plus a little of Snapped! Japan.**

**Paring: AmePan**

**Genre: Friendship & Hurt/comfort there's a widdle bit of Romance, too**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

_**Chapter 1: A start and a finish**_

(Flash back)

"_*sigh* Every single day, another power struggle. It's exhausting." China was gladly walking through a forest for some time to himself when he noticed a little boy all alone. Hm? Who is that? I've never seen him before. He walked over to the little boy. _

"_You must be a new country. You're so little…I'm sure it must have been rough to be born in such a small place. You can call me China." He said with a small smile. "If there's something you need to know, all you have to do is ask me. So…Would you mind telling me your name?" "Konichiwa. It's nice to meet you China where the sun sets. My name is Japan. I'm from where the sun rises." "Ah! That wasn't very nice!" _

_Thereafter, Japan had no problems growing up. "Oh, wow. This is amazing." Both nations were watching a doll in a kimono waddle across the floor. "A doll?" asked Japan. China gave him a small nod. "Let's go out for walk, yes?" "Hai."_

"_I'm glad you're growing up so fast. I hope you know how proud I am of you. Oh! Panda!" exclaimed China as he noticed a rather large panda walk around. "Huh?" it replied back confused. "It's so good to see you. I'd like you to meet my friend Japan." "Hello." Replied Japan rather shy. "You guys related?" "You bet! This guy happens to be my kid brother!"_

_._

_.._

…

"_Hm, right." "What the hell took you so long!?" _

"_Oh wow. What a beautiful moon, aru." "Very beautiful." "Okay. So what big plans do you have next?" asked China. "Eh, what am I planning next? To become stronger. Soon, the western powers will reach Asia. And when that occurs, I plan to fight them at any cost. But if I'm going to defeat them, I need to be stronger than I am now." China looked back at him surprised by his answer. Japan just looked down as if his was in deep trance. "Good grief! Boy, do you complicate things. You should animate that sad story. Whoa! Look, Japan! Rabbits are trying to make medicine on the moon." He says, pointing at the moon. "No. They're pounding steamed rice into Mochi."_

o0o0o0o0o0o

China's POV

_Ever since that night, I've been amazed by his doings. He has gained an alliance with other countries, mare land, and friends. And every single day he grew stronger. One day, I had to leave him because I had gone into war with another country. He wanted to accompany me but I told him that this country could really mess up all he has now._

"_I'm sorry Nihon but I can't let you go out there. You've already been to war with America and the allies. I don't want you to get hurt, okay?" "But ni-chan…You've got to stop treating me like a child." "I know. But please, stay here. And we can do all the things you want when I come back. Alright?" "…Okay. Come back safely, okay?" "I promise aru. Bye Japan."_

_And that was the last time I saw him._

_On the battle field, I was pinned down by the enemy with a sword to my throat. I knew that this was my end. "Hey, China, about that boy you raised, I'm pretty sure he won't miss you." "Shut your mouth, aru. We've been through more than you can imagine. I made a promise that I would come back and do all the things he wanted." "And? Aren't you going to say something else? Seriously, why didn't you two just make out? You've had about 2000 years to do so." He says pushing the sword closer with a smirk. "Y-you're foul." "Go rot in hell damn bastard." _

_I'm sorry, Japan…but I won't be coming back. I'm sorry…_

o0o0o0o0o0o

Back at China's house…

A knock was heard at the door. Japan quickly answered it. He peeked his head around the door to only find a large man standing at the door with a sorrow look on his face. "Good afternoon Mr. Japan sir. I have received some news." "What's the problem, sir?" He still couldn't understand why he looked so…_solitude_. "Uh, I got word from the General that China…" For a second Japan felt his whole body jerk inside with excitement but…why did it suddenly change? "China what?" "China lost. I'm sorry sir." Japan took a moment to let the information sink in. "So…he's not…alive?" he began to tremble. "I'm afraid not, sir." "No no no no no, I need to hear that from the general himself!" "No. I don't think that's necessary. Its-" "No! Move!"

Japan shoved the guard out of his way and ran to villages' office. He ran all across town, ignoring the constant stares and chattering. This was very informal. The General was sitting in his chair on the phone. "Hold on sir…Yes, Kiku?" Japan was breathing heavily and waited a few seconds to catch his breath. He would never do something like this. Unless it was something serious. But this was China. _China_. The man who practically raised him as a brother and child. The man who has seen more than anyone else has witnessed on the battle field or off. He looked up at the general. "Please tell me that China won and he's coming back!" "Oh…I'm sorry son. There is nothing more that I can say to you. China won't be coming back." "No! It can't be true!" He held his hands to his ears trying to block out what the other man was saying.

"_I'm sorry but…you're just gonna have to face the facts."  
_…

When he heard those words, everything seemed to stop. The world, the wind, his heart. The only thing he heard was a loud ringing echoing though his head because he had fainted. The General got off the phone and rushed to Japan. At the same time, he was telling one of the guards to get one of the nurses. He did what he was told and left.

Japan had woken up tired and in pain. _My head hurts_, he thought to himself. Japan opened his eyes and discovered he was back home. He sat up and looked around the area. A woman was sitting in a chair smiling. "Good! You're awake! Are you alright, Mr. Honda? I'm sorry about China. I know-" _That's right! I blacked out when I was told-_ "-that he was a good guy to you and-" While she was talking, she somehow managed to grab hold of his arm. "Let me go." He interrupted. She looked at him confused. "_Arigoto_ for helping me but I would like for you to leave. Tell General that I'm fine and I don't need anyone else." "Hm? _Hai_, sir."

After she left, Japan didn't know what to do. Eat? Go out for a walk? Read some yaoi? Nothing could keep his mind off of today's events. He decided he'd go to bed. More really, a nap. _What time is it? 7:48pm…I can't go to bed so early…But what can I do? _He wandered what to do which seemed like eternity. There were so many options but he didn't want to do any of them. Without even noticing it, an hour had already pass. _Wow_, he thought. He chose the bed. Japan showered and got into bed. The house was so quite without China. Sleeping all alone without a warm body next to you; Japan could just hear his heart tearing. All of this left him one single question:

He really isn't coming back, is he?

_~Chapter 1_

**Translation**:

_Nihon_- "Japan" in Japanese

_Hai_- "Yes" in Japanese

_Arigoto_- "Thank you" in Japanese

**Yeah. I'm back. Forgive me but I have run out of (awesome) ideas so I dug up this old one…Oh. And the beginning- It was from episode 16 (Axis Powers). Yeah…The "rot in hell" line…I just love using it a lot. Plus, I met this awesome Otaku at my camp and she left but I hope I can see her again. Her art was so awesome. More awesome then Prussia! Believe me. **

**Well, I could talk more but I have to continue stalking a cute Maple leaf(Canadian)… Reviews make me happy! Ciao~**


	2. Why?

Yeah...It's here…Please enjoy this next chapter of "What should I do" (Yeah, I'm not really enthusiastic at the moment…)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia**

_**Chapter 2: Why?**_

It had been almost a week since China passed and Japan has been trying to deny the whole thing. But no matter how many times he said it wasn't true, he knew, deep inside his heart it was. The funeral was held soon after and the sun seemed to dance among the sky. Everyone wore black except Japan who wore white. Every nation showed at regular time- one after another.

When Japan walked over to China's grave, America looked a bit concerned. Besides being a close friend, he knew how much Japan loved China and would hate to see him go. Before the service ended, Japan finally cried. He let out what he'd been holding onto for so long. Now _everyone_ felt the guilt. Even his other allies. When it ended, Japan sat on the ground with his head down. America told the others to leave without him because he had something "important". America turned around and stared at the other nation. He felt bad and walked up behind him and placed his hand of his shoulder. Japan lifted his head and looked at the American with fresh tears in his eyes.

"Hey, why don't you come over to my place to night? I know I won't help but it's the least I can do." he offered. Japan gave it some thought and slightly nodded his head. "Sweet! Come by as soon as you can. Bring your manga and stuff because this is going to be the most awesome sleep over ever! I got the ice cream!" he yelled in a childish tone. Japan just smiled and blinked the tears away. "Okay, Mr. America."

Translation: "America's house"

America was sitting patiently on the couch waiting for Japan to arrive. It was almost seven-thirty…What was taking him so long? Before America was about to pick up his cell phone, his door bell rang. "Coming!" When he opened the door, Japan started pleading.

"_Gomenasai_, Mr. America! I was running late because this guy asked me about the funeral and I told him that I had to go somewhere but he wouldn't take no for an answer and-!" "Whoa, dude, calm down! I understand. I _expected_ you to be late." "O-oh." "Please come in. Make yourself at home." "O-okay." Japan slowly walked in and looked around. It looked the same as it did the last time…Maybe the kitchen looked different? "Hey, where do you want to sleep? I have an extra room if you want to use that." "Sure. Ah, where is it?" "Across the hall from my bedroom. It's not that hard to miss." "Okay."

Japan walked over to a dark hallway near the living room. He peaked around the entrance to see if the room was either on the left or right. America watched him without saying anything. His room was the one that didn't have "The Hero" on the door. He sighed and started walking toward the room. Before his hand touched the knob, a voice whispered to him,

"_Ni hon…"_

He quickly turned around to see who called him out. It wasn't America. So who was it? Little beads of sweat trickled down his face as he saw that no one was there. The voice startled him and made him very uneasy. Japan decided to forget about it and put his stuff away. He breathed in the fresh smell of the room. Strawberries? He sat down on the bed, gazing out the window. Japan got up and sat down on a chair, looking at what was going to be tonight's moon. The first quarter. It was just like how Japan's heart was. Half of it was gone…_China_ was gone…it all went away. He was soon lost until he heard America's voice echo in his thoughts. He was calling from the kitchen. Japan quickly snapped back into reality and ran to the kitchen.

"Dude! I've been calling you for over five minutes!" "Why didn't you come and get me?" he replied in a soft sweet voice. "I didn't want to! I was busy getting dinner ready. Do you want to eat now?" asked America. "Sure. What have you prepared, America-san?" "Your favorite! Rice and steamed vegetables! I tried my best since I don't really cook…" "Thank you America-san! I'm pretty I'll enjoy it." "Alright! Enough talk! It's time to eat!" He said, laughing. "_Hai_."

Dinner was fine and Japan enjoyed every bit of it. So did America. "Alright, dude! Next, we're gonna watch a movie, eat ice cream, and read your manga things! How does that sound?" "Okay. May I ask but what movie are we watching?" "A horror film, of course! It's about this dude whose sprit starts to haunt his best friend. The ratings are awesome and the war scene is in such perfect detail, it's scary! Is that okay with you?" "I guess." What a coincidence. He _had_ to pick _this_ one."Awesome! I'll get the ice cream!" Japan walked over to the couch and placed a pillow in his lap. _I suppose this is a good movie. Now, what was the story about?_

America came back with two pints of ice cream and two spoons. "Don't worry. I already put the movie in." America walked over to the screen and turned on the TV. The movie had started. After over an hour of America's screaming, Japan got a feeling that made him sleepy. And very…_arrogant_.

"America-san…please…" "Dude! Did you see that?!" yelled America. "Yes, yes I did," _Yeah, every damn part of it. _"Listen, I'm getting very tired okay? I'll be in my room if you need me." America paused the movie. "No way, dude. We haven't gotten to the good part…" "I know and I'm not in a very good mood right now. We can look at my stuff tomorrow, okay? Good night." He says turning the corner. He turned the TV off and walked to Japan's room. He creaked the door open.

"Japan, you in here?"

"Get out!" he yelled, getting off the bed.

"What's your problem, man? One minute you're enjoying the film and then angry the next." America was now in direct eye contact with the Japanese man.

"Go away I said. Leave me alone! I'm not in a happy mood so please…"

"Japan-"

"_No! Do I have to spell it out for you?! Get the hell away from me!" _

"Okay, _okay_! I'll leave you alone!" Then he closed the door behind him.

"Ugh…I wish he would mind his own business sometimes."

_Yeah but yelling at him wasn't a smart choice though. _Japan jumped as the same voice from earlier rang in his head. This can't be happening again. "Anyway…that movie was horrible. I don't know what he was thinking." _Why are you like this?_

"China…"

_His name…it feels so weird when I say it. As if I wanted him. If he were here, I'd…I'd tell him…I…love him._

For the rest of the night, he cried himself to sleep, hoping that his guardian would take him away. But, what other way could you do that then _suicide_? That was the idea. That anger, sadness, pain…it would all turn into suicide. He got up and quietly walked to the kitchen. He reached for the cabinet that was full of utensils. He found a knife with a very sharp edge and took it to his room.

_Blood, I want to see my blood…_

He sat in a corner of his room and slowly took the blade and slid it across him arm. It stung a little but he got used to it. He did it again. Again and again and again until his arms were covered in a beautiful crimson color. This next cut wasn't like any other. This one had cut one of his important vanes, causing a pool of blood to spill out. He felt dizzy and passed out.

"_C-china…Help me…" _He managed to say.

About a few minutes later, America came in wanting to ask Japan something. He opened his door, "Hey, Japan, you awake? I wanted to ask if could borrow your book tomorrow. Is that okay? Japan?" He noticed that there was no response and walked over to the side of the bed to turn on the lamp. He stopped when he felt something warm seeping through his socks. He walked back and turned the room light on.

"Holy crap!"

_~Chapter 2_

**Cliffhanger~! Yeah!**

**America: Please don't end it like that! I wanna know if he's still alive!**

**Hmm, **_**will**_** I end it like this? Is Japan **_**still**_** alive? You'll just have to find out! Please leave me your thoughts and reviews make me happy! Ciao~ **


	3. Why am I always alone?

Here's the second part! Enjoy! ('Ey, you get some drama in this one! Maybe some romance too…)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!**

_**Chapter 3: Why am I always alone?**_

"Holy crap!"

America ran to his side. "Dude are you okay? Say something!" Japan responded with a faint cry. "Oh, good! We need to get you to the hospital because you're losing a lot of blood. Hey…are you alright?" "N-no…but…Please. Kill me. I don't want to live anymore. I want…to be with…" "Be with whom?" "China." … "Oh." There was a long silence. "Well, I'll help you into the car. And I'm _not_ going to kill you okay? You've done enough to yourself as it is. I'm sorry."

America lifted Japan bridal style, not caring if he got blood on him, to his car. "H-hey, what time is it?" "A little after midnight…why?" "No reason…please, d-don't worry about me America-san." "How can I _not_ worry about you? You almost _killed_ yourself!" He says, helping him into the car. He had placed him on a towel to avoid any blood on the seat.

The drive wasn't long -about an hour- and Japan began to drift off. "You better not be dying over there." He said. "I-I'm not…I'm just having a…hard time staying awake…" Then his eyes began to close. When they shut, he leaned over to check his pulse. It was faint but he was still breathing. America sighed in relief and continued driving.

When they reached the hospital, he checked his pulse again. It was slower than the last time. This was not good. America ran out of the car holding Japan and asked if he could get a nurse. The lady at the front desk saw his situation and had two nurses come and get Japan. Once they had him a room, they asked if he would stay outside for a moment. He did so and walked over to the closest chair of the room and sat down. It was a bit over fifteen minutes when he heard Japan screaming. It echoed throughout his head and scared him to think what they were doing to him. After almost twenty minutes of waiting, he was allowed to see Japan.

"He's fine. His pulse is a bit slow but he's breathing. We'll have some of the cuts stitched momentarily and fix the damaged vane. We're thankful that it didn't do much of a disturbance to the brain. He's a bit stressed out and is not in a very pleasant mood." "Don't worry. He's been through a lot this past week so that's probably why." "Oh. Okay. Step this way, Mr. Jones. Uh, Kiku, your friend is here to see you."

He walked in, hoping for the best. America walked over to his bed side (since he hadn't yet pulled himself out from under the covers). He sat up; His eyes were all puffy as if he'd been crying a lot and his body seemed scrawny. "Why is he like this?" he asked turning to the nurse. "Well…" he turned back. "Dude…you look awful. Is he okay? I swore I thought I heard him screaming." He asked a bit concerned. "Yes, he did. After hooking him up to the machine, we asked him why he tried to commit suicide. He mumbled a name…I believe it sounded like China. We asked who that was but all we earned was a scream and tears. I guess that person must have taken a toll on him considering he wanted to commit suicide for it."

"Well…his guardian China passed away about a week ago and-"

"_Alfred!"_

America turned away from the nurse and focused of Japan. _Whoa, he called me by my_ real _name! He must be pissed!_

"You've already said enough. Don't you _dare_ say another word." He threatened.

"Come on, dude! I was only telling her-"

"Shut it! Get out of here! _Kango-shi_, take him out! I want him out of my sight. NOW!" "O-okay…Mr. Jones…?" "Yeah. I'll come back for him tomorrow." Then he left.

0o0o0o0o0o0

It was around 9:46 in the morning when he came back to get him. _Maybe he'll be in a better mood this time…_, he thought, entering the hospital doors. As he was walking to his room, a nurse came running and stopped when she saw him. "Excuse me but are you Alfred Jones?" she asked, panting. "Yes…why?" America was aware of the fact that something was wrong. "We need you…its Japan…" "What happened?" his voice becoming deeper. "Please come. You need to see it for yourself." They began running down a hallway that led to intensive care. _Intensive care?! Why the hell are we down here?! _"Here…he's in here."

…

"Oh…my…God…"

The room was a mess.

As if a _blood bath_ happened. Stuff had been thrown, things were broken, and blood covered almost all of the bed. "What happened in here?!" "Well, this morning, we were trying to give him a vaccine but when one of the nurses got too close, he slapped her. Then chaos happened from that point on. He started throwing Japanese curses at the others and tried to kill himself again. And the whole plan almost went through this time. Now, he's here. I can't believe Japan's still alive after almost bleeding to death." "Oh…" _I knew it! I knew I should've stayed overnight! If I did, this wouldn't have happened! Japan…_

"May I speak to him?" asked the American. "A-are you sure…? He's a monster…" "No, he's not a monster. He's just going through something's." He opened the door with no caution and had something thrown at him. It missed, hitting the door, shattering on the ground. "Aiming for my head?" he asked with a smile. Japan was sitting up with his shirt off and knife cuts all over his chest. Most had fresh blood on them. _This is insane…_he thought. He sat on the edge of his bed trying to avoid any blood.

"Get away from me." hissed Japan. "I won't. I will stay here and leave when I want to. Okay?" "No…! Please, go away. You're too close." "Nope!" He took off his bomber jacket and placed on a desk next to the bed. "Why did you take it off?" asked Japan. "Does it matter?" "N-no…" "Talk to me. Tell me, why are you doing this to yourself?"

No answer.

"Tell me." "No. You'll never understand." "I understand. Look, you can't just kill yourself because someone you really love passed away. That's not the way to handle things. You have to move on. You can't stay in this state, Japan. You'll eventually die. And I know China wouldn't like that, would he?" "No he-! He would…hate…" "Exactly. You can kill yourself all you want but what would China do if he knew? What would he _say_?" He thought about it. "He would…he would-" He was pinned down by America. Japan tried to pry him off. "G-get off of me!" His eyes locked onto Japan's with no emotion. Japan went speechless.

"Let it go. He's gone and you have to move on. You can't keep isolating yourself, Japan. You aren't alone." America's voice seemed to frighten him. "I-I'm not?" he asked beginning to cry.

"No. Because you have me."

Everything had stopped. America smiled at him. Japan had covered his mouth with his hand with his eyes wide with tears. Nothing could describe his happiness. "A-America…" "You can cry all you want. I won't say anything. But you have to stay strong for me." "O-okay…"

"I love you, Kiku."

"Me too, Alfred."

He kissed his forehead. Japan began to cry which seemed like forever. "Why are you crying?" "Because…I'm happy to know that I'm not alone anymore. That I have someone by my side to support me and-" "Whoa! It's not like we're getting _married_ or something! And who said you were alone?" "Sorry I made it sound like that. I just…" "So you're not going to do this again? Are you going to end this?" "I-" "Because all you're doing is destroying yourself." "I- I will stop." He smiled and got off Japan. "I'll be right back."

He grabbed his jacket and walked out the door to talk to the nurse. Japan sat on the bed watching them conversate. After a few minutes of waiting, America came back. "What did she say?" "She said that you could leave tomorrow. Do you want me to come and get you in the morning?" "Sure." "Bye Kiku." "Bye Alfred." He smiled.

After all that happened, both nations were tired and in need of a good rest. Japan had got moved to another room and constantly kept apologizing about destroying their property. America sat in his car, called England and told him the whole thing while wanting him to keep it secret. The next morning, America came back to get him. He greeted his with a perk on the cheek; Japan blushed.

"Just let the cuts heal on their own and don't apply any alcohol on them. A few wounds were stitched on his torso and his arms. He should be healed in about a few weeks depending on his wounds." "Okay, I'll remember that." replied America. They left the hospital and went back to Americas. Japan grabbed his stuff and waited by the door.

"Do you _have_ to go? I liked it when you were here." whined America. "Well, I could stay here for awhile if you want me to." "No. I want you to stay here forever." "W-what do you mean?" asked Japan uncertainly. America took his things that were in his hands and set them on the ground. "What are you-" America pinned him to the wall with his arm and starred at Japan.

"I want you to stay here. Here with me. You don't have to go back to your village. Stay with me Kiku."

_When he says my name, he sounds serious as if he meant it…_ "But…I can't. I-" He was cut off when his lips met Americas. He went speechless when he slowly pulled away. "So, are you going to stay with me?" "I…I-" "You don't have to." "No…I want to." "Then it settled. You'll stay here with me! Lemme put your stuff in your new room." He said with a smile. As he turned the corner, he turned around and said, "I love you Kiku."

"I love you too, Alfred."

_~Chapter 3_

**Translation:**

_Kango-shi_ means "nurse" in Japanese

**YAY~! It's done! Ugh, I didn't' think it would be **_**this**_** long…Well; ya got your fluff ya got ya drama and ya got ya Romance. You should be happy! This journey isn't over yet! There's gonna be a side story for this! I'm still kind of angry about the length though…*starts crying***

**America: You shouldn't be! It was a great story!**

_***sniff***_** S-shut up…**

**Japan: Please review and leave your thoughts so Espa****ń****a can stop crying…Arigoto for reading!**


	4. Epilogue: When the sun goes down

This is the last part to _"What should I do?"_ I thought I shouldn't end it like that so while editing chapter 3 the idea just hit me….This one will have all the fluff you need! Enjoy what I have to offer! Excuse Grammar errors if you see them…

_**Epilogue: When the sun goes down**_

"_Get out!" _

"_Japan-"_

"_No! Do I have to spell it out for you?! Get the hell away from me!"_

_Why are you like this?_

"_Alfred! You've already said enough. Don't you dare say another word."_

"_I want him out of my sight. NOW!"_

"_He's a monster…"_

_Why?_

"_Does it matter?"_

_But that one person-_

"_I'm sorry but…you're just going to have to face the facts."_

_The one who broke me…_

Japan was laying down on the sofa napping and was awoken when flashbacks reeled through his head. Nothing good came from of them. He sat up rubbing his eyes then looked at his arm.

_Blood, I want to see my blood… _

"_C-China…Help me…"_

The memories of that night sent goose bumps across his skin. What was he thinking? And how long ago was that? This was something he _really_ didn't want to think about after a good sleep. He walked around trying to find his American. He knocked on his door which was swung open. Standing shirtless, the American hugged the smaller male. "A-America-san…What-" "Shh. Please don't say anything…" "Is something the matter?" He didn't reply. He just squeezed tighter and didn't let go. "P-please get a hold of yourself…You're squishing me and it makes my chest hurt…"

With that said, America let go of Japan and looked away trying not to make contact with his eyes. Japan stood confused. "What's the matter?" he asked putting his hands on Americas face. "You can tell me." "I can't…" "You can't tell me?" "No I…I can't shake the feeling…Of what happened…" "Alfred, you have to get over that. That was almost six months ago. Everything is fine now."

"Is it really?"

America looked at him.

"Well…it is. Because you have me now." "…Okay…" "Cheer up. We'll discuss more about this tonight, okay? Will that help?" "Sure…" he said. "I love you." "I know…" Japan reached for a kiss on the lips. America smiled feeling more comfortable.

Later that night…

"Hey, wanna take a bath together?" asked America walking to the bathroom. "W-what?" Japan's face became flushed. "C'mon, it'll be fun. We've never even done it before." _They why start now?_, thought Japan. "O-okay…" He just couldn't turn down the offer. And besides, America needed some love so he decided to do what he wanted to do. He walked in with a towel around his waist. America was already in the bath tub waiting. "Good. You're here." "Y-yeah…" _How can he be so calm?!_, thought Japan. "Come here." With his face flushed, he nodded and took off his towel. He sat down in front of America. Japan didn't like showing America his body but he was hoping that it would be over soon.

"Hey, turn around. I want to do your hair." "O-okay." He shifted around to where he was facing America. America smiled and took a bottle of shampoo and poured it on his hand. He slowly took his hand and rubbed it against Japan's hair. He ran his fingers through his hair earning a moan from Japan. America stopped and looked at him. "Is something wrong?" asked Japan. "N-no…It's nothing." He continued until his hair was all soapy. "Can I do yours?" "Sure." "Okay." He smiled and did the same. It was kind of a reach since America was taller than him but he took his time trying to savor every moment.

"You know, China used to do this to me when I was young. His touch, his hands, his rhythm…it's very much like yours. I love it." He took a wash towel and wet it to wash out the shampoo. It ran down his face missing his eyes. Before he was finished, America wrapped his arms around his stomach avoiding his stitches. Japan looked down and blushed a bit hard. This was too close.

"A-America-san…You're too close." "But I'm never far away." Then something hit him. Something warm had grown inside his chest. What was happening? _His touch, his voice, himself…I love it so much._ "America, I-" "Say it." "Say what?" "My name. Say for me." Then he felt something wet and warm fall on his back. Was he crying? "Alfred." "Yes…" "But why?" America let go of Japan and starred. "Why are you still focused on the past?"

He didn't answer. All he did was stare. "Tell me. I want to know." "I was scared. I wasn't sure if you were going to make it out alive when you were in that state, Japan. You scared the living life out of me! What, was I suppose to just pity you? Was I suppose to watch you get hurt?" "N-no…" "I loved you Japan and I couldn't let someone important to me get hurt because of a loss. You mean everything to me, Kiku."

Well, you could say that Japan was expecting for him to say that but it still surprised him. America took his hands and placed it on Japan's shoulders. He slowly pulled him closer and mumbled something. A tear fell on Japan's face and was sealed in for a kiss. It was soft, sweet and full of mixed emotions. But it was still passionate. Japan could just see the gates of heaven open up as he was greeted by a certain person.

"_You did it Nihon. Your moon is full. You are complete." He said._

Japan smiled at the man. "Will I ever get to see you again?" "_Oh no. Not for a very long time. Your legacy will continue to grow."_

"Oh America…"

"I love you Kiku. _I love you._"

_~Epilogue_

**Hey! Last part of another fic. Oh and guess who the mystery person who met our Nihon! This was a bit longer than I thought. I wanted to keep it short.**

**Oh, when he said "Your moon is full," I was referring to chapter two to what Japan had said about his heart. (Maybe you'll find the mystery person that way)**

**Sorry for being so long! Review and leave your thoughts! Ciao~ **

**((Next Fanfic to a /ONESHOT FrUK one))**


End file.
